You may recall a few weeks back I told you that despite my earlier declarations that I would never, ever EVER in a million years self-publish a novel, I’m about to do just that. I’ll be posting more in the coming weeks about why I’m doing this and what made me change my mind but for now, let me tell you what it’s all about (if you missed it on Trashionista yesterday).
It’s called Results Not Typical, it’s kind of like The Devil Wears Prada meets Weightwatchers (or The Devil Wears Spanx, if you like) and it’ll be out in October in paperback and e-book.
(I know I said November before but it’s October now.)
About the Book:
Through their Ultimate Weight Loss Diet Solution Zone System, Slimmit International Global Incorporated claim they’re making the world a more attractive place one fatty at a time. Their slogans “Where You’re Fat and We Know It!” and “Where the Fat IS Your Fault!” are recognised around the globe, the counter in the lobby says five million slimmed and their share price is as high as their energy levels. But today the theft of their latest revolutionary product, Lipid Loser, will threaten to expose the real secret behind Slimmit’s success…
As Director of Security, hunky Aaron Green is held responsible and threatened with his job. Spying an opportunity to get back into Aaron’s pants, Marianne Brand, head of Slimming Operations, offers to help him track down the intruder – but what she’s really hoping to find is her missing Much, Much More Muffin, a secret prototype she believes the intruder ate. Meanwhile Slimmit CEO Nicola Darcy struggles to stay conscious in the three layers of constricting underwear she needs to hide her new muffin top, while her daughter Emmy – deemed “unacceptably beyond corporate Appearance Policy parameters” – pushes paper in Slimmit’s basement and dreams of a skinny life, one she hopes her secret membership of Fat Club, Slimmit’s main competitor, will eventually bring her.
The race is on to retrieve the Lipid Loser and save Slimmit from total disaster. If their secrets get out, their competitors will put them out of business. If the government finds out, they’ll all go to jail. And if their clients find out… Well, as Slimmit’s Slimming Specialists know all too well, there’s only one thing worse than a hungry, sugar-crazed, carb addict – an angry one.
Will the secret behind Slimmit’s success survive the day, or will their long-suffering slimmers finally discover the truth?
About the Author:
Catherine Ryan Howard has been a professional yo-yo dieter for going on fifteen years, despite being only (just about to turn) 29. She’s tried Weightwatchers, calorie counting, only drinking smoothies, Being Good, only eating items from Marks and Spencer’s Count On Us range, Weightwatchers again, smoking, Atkins, Alan Carr’s The Easy Way to Lose Weight (it wasn’t), Get With the Program, abandon all the programs, Paul McKenna’s I Can Make You Thin (spoiler alert: he couldn’t) and Weightwatchers for a third time. In 2008 she tried a very scary cult-like organisation that cost a small fortune, forbade her from eating 99.9% of all food and tried to brainwash her into thinking that decaf coffee was a worthwhile thing, all under the guise of “behaviour modification therapy.” She didn’t lose any weight, but she did get an idea for a novel…
And in other news: the Backpacked bookshop is now open! You can order signed copies of Backpacked, Mousetrapped and Self-Printed until August 26th and all orders will ship with an exclusive preview of Results Not Typical. You can also sign up to my mailing list (see tab above) to get news of Results’ release delivered to your inbox.
Tags: catherine ryan howard, dieting, novel, results not typical, self-publishing, slimming, weight loss, weightwatchers
Good luck with the novel.
Can I ask a question? How close to finishing the novel are you? I’m interested because I am just finishing editing my second and I plan to self publish at the end of July beginning of August. I have yet to design the cover or proofread or format. Am I being too hasty? Or should I have a bigger build up?
Thanks.
I finished the first draft in January 2010, finished the second (with an editor) in May 2010 and then left it alone until about a month ago when I sent it to a copyeditor for proofreading. She’ll get it back to me in a month or so and then I’ll start preparing the full cover, physical book, e-book formatting, etc. It’s not about having a build-up; it’s about putting out the best possible product that you can. Novels need to be left alone for a while so that you can go back and read them afresh.
Eeeeeee! Ahem. Sorry. Was that too fangirly? Apologies.
Anyway, I just read the synopsis out loud to Shannon and we both think you have a winner on your hands. Best of luck with the publishing process and just let us know if we can do anything to help. You rock!
Not at all – I love fangirly! ;-D
Thank so much. I’m excited to finally put this novel out there. And I may indeed be calling upon you for some launch-time help…!
Cannot wait to read it. Therefore I love that it’s being pushed forward a month!